New Stuff 2007

You were in my dreams again last night. Oh how pleasant it is to see you there.

There're not sexual, at least not yet. Though I’m not sure why.

During the day, my dreams of you certainly do tend to turn that way.

But no, in the night

when I’m deep asleep and you visit me,

it’s very sweet.

We talk.

We laugh.

We touch.

Sometimes when we look

into each other’s eyes

the gaze lasts long enough

to communicate what

we both want;

without words

our gaze says what

our bodies desire.

Last night we hugged.

That’s when I awoke.

With my head resting on your

shoulder while hugging you.

It was heavenly.

Until I awoke

and realized it had only been a dream

and that I was still in hell.

always the same

I got a new mistress ever-y-night

sometimes she’s brown,

sometimes she’s white,

but she’s always kind and smooth

and we laugh and we never fight

and all is all right

‘til ‘bout two in the deep night,

then it’s always the same

It’s always the same.

And I guess I’m to blame.

‘cause it’s about that time,

that she crashes and shatters

It’s always the same.

She shatters,

just like dreams

just like hope

Just like fame

She shatters

And it’s about 4 in the mornin’

When the pain is so great

That I think I might die

tonight

Every night.

It’s always the same,

it’s always the same

But by sunset 4,

by then I’m alright

By then I’ve got a new mistress

sometimes she’s brown,

sometimes she’s white

but she’s always kind and smooth

and we laugh and we never fight

and all is all right

‘til ‘bout two in the dark night

then it’s always the same

it’s always the same

And I guess I’m to blame

‘cause it’s about that time

that she crashes and shatters

It’s always the same

She shatters,

just like dreams

just like hope

Just like fame.

She shatters.

And I guess I’m to blame

Hey Bartender (#1)

Hey bartender

No there’s nothing wrong

I’m just another song-writer without a song

So I just may have to sit here all night long

‘till I find the right words

that sound like they belong

it seems like all the good ones are gone

They’ve been taken

No great tunes left for the makin’

Oh why have my thoughts forsaken

Me.

So pour some more

Of that liquid inspiration

Maybe it’ll help to waken

Something witty and wise

Inside my mind

And if nothin’ comes

by the time you close

somehow I’ll find my way home

And try again tomorrow

Whenever finally I rise.

Hey Bartender (#2)

Hey bartender

Don’t be shy

Go ahead and stare

It don’t bother me

I hadta get used to it

‘Cause, you see,

these scars,

they ain’t going no where

Sure, I could tell you the story

But you wouldn’t believe

So pour me another,

pass the pretzels

and then I’ll leave,

I got company anyway

Waiting at home for me

my dear old friends

beer, mac n’ cheese

yea I’ve heard that before

that I’m too bright

to be stuck

in a dump

like this

night after night

and it does seem like

my brain is alright

but life has taken it’s toll

these scars are what’s left

from when they stole

my soul

well, if I stay here much longer

I’ll start looking for trouble

So I best get on home

to my good friends,

beer, mac n’ cheese

but first, pour me a double

and pass me them pretzels

please.

When The Laughing Stops

Remember how smart

We used to be

You n’ me

We didn’t even have to

Go to school

We already knew

how to break the rules

So we’d skip on down

To the river out back

Each with a six pack

And oh how we’d laugh

Remember how we’d laugh

At all them fools

still sittin’ in school

We laughed

Remember how smart

We used to be

You n’ me

At sixteen

We knew how to score

More than any team

Cigarettes, beer and girls

we laughed at those fools

Who sweated, so pathetic

on the courts and fields

when we were so cool

Remember us laughin’

‘till we couldn’t stop coughin’

We laughed

And remember how smart

We used to be

You n’ me

At twenty we knew plenty

More than the teachers,

parents or cops

We could’ve taught them alot

If only they’d listened

Instead of talk, talk, talk,

but instead

Remember how we laughed

At how stupid they were

Oh how we laughed

at all those folks,

we laughed alot

‘cause we knew

We were so damn smart

We laughed

well, I don’t know about you

but I don’t laugh anymore

seems like nothing is funny

it ain’t fun being poor

it ain’t fun having no job

and not fittin’ in

with the rest of the folks

who all seem to know

how to win

so while I sit

on the sidewalk

begging for dimes

I’m lucky if they miss

when they spit

when walking on by

and they laugh

oh how they laugh

I swear I’ll still hear them laughin’

when I’m deep down in my coffin

it’s ain’t no fun being poor

and I don’t feel so smart anymore.

And I don’t laugh much

anymore

You Will Survive

I remember

Wobbling home

With a runny nose

And a bloody knee

And my father tightly holding me

‘til my sobbing stopped

He wiped my tears and said

It’s ok.

It’s all right.

Pain reminds you

That you’re still alive

And you, my son,

you will survive

I was only a teen

When she left me

And the first time

That my heart cracked

my dad repeated to me that

it’s ok.

It’s all right.

Pain reminds you

That you’re still alive

and you, my son,

you will survive

years later,

I was in my prime

and I thought that I was so wise

but a business deal went terribly bad

I’d been lied to, stolen from

Oh, I’d been had

And these comforting words

Came over the phone

From my dad

It’s ok

It’s all right

Pain reminds you

That you’re still alive

And you, my son,

you will survive

Then the day came

I got the call

and I rushed to his side

with tear stained cheeks

that I could not hide

The doctor said “any breath

may be his last”

My father looked up

squeezed my hand

and said

“for me now,

there is no more pain

so it’s ok

It’s all right

And you, my son,

you will survive

Later that year

the day my boy turned three

he fell off the ladder

that I’d nailed to a tree

and as I held him close

Just him and me

I kissed his tiny, bloodied knee

And I said to him

With choked up throat

It’s ok

It’s all right

Pain reminds you

That you’re still alive

And you, my son,

You will survive.

To become a man

First he would beg,

Stomp his little feet,

And cry

Then he threatened

To run away and hide

He’d do everything he could

To get his own way

But I wouldn’t budge

And this is what I would say

“It’s not my job to be your friend,

It’s my job to help you

to become a man.”

“but mom, why can’t I?

Everyone else does”

He’d whine, persist

and try to get his own way.

then shout “you’re the meanest mother

In the world” and storm away

but it was the final “I hate you!”

when the door slammed

that hurt the most

Still, I held tight

and did what was right

And repeated this verse,

that many a times I'd rehearsed,

when tired and alone at night,

“It’s not my job to be your friend

It’s my job to help you

to become a man.”

Now I’m so very proud

of what my boy has become

a fine young man

who’s smart, kind and handsome

and today when he passed

to me his first child

he spoke these words

which were the sweetest

that I’d ever heard

he said, “mom,

you were the greatest parent to me

and I hope that I can be

half as good with him

as you were with me

and I pray that I can

be strong enough

to help my son grow

to become a man.”

click to

return to

Ocean's Home Page

"Sometimes I feel like a butterfly in a blender."

Love me enough to lie

Love me enough

To lie ‘cause

the truth

tastes

like dirt

and reality

just plain hurts

So tell me you love me

that all will be ok

and that you’ll never leave

that nothing could ever

tear you away

Tell me I’m the only one

and together we’ll dance

laugh and love

under far-away suns

And tell me that I finally found

after searching a lifetime,

in you

what could not be found anywhere.

That our love is real, strong and true

Tell me the fire in your gaze

smolders for me alone

and your fingertips ache

to make me groan

Please,

love me enough

to lie

Losing things

The first thing I remember losing was a tooth. But I didn't feel too bad 'bout losing that 'cause another one grew in its place. I was six years old when that happened.

The next thing I remember losing was my dog. And, well, I mean, I didn't exactly lose him. It’s not like I left him somewhere and couldn’t find him. One day, he was just gone. I was 10 years old. He was a great dog. When he’d see me coming, he’d jump high up into the air and bark, like he was glad to see me. He was the only person who was ever glad to see me. He’d bark, and bark. He barked a lot. But that was his way of talking. And he had a lot to say and we had a lot to talk about.

His name was Boner. Don’t ask me why he had that name ‘cause I don’t know. People used to ask me that all the time and I’d just shrug. I think my dad might have had something to do with it, the name, but I never asked him. I never talked to my dad much if I could help it.

So anyway, one day, I came home from school and Boner didn’t run out to meet me. I walked all around whistling and calling his name, but he never came. I never saw him again. Every day after school and on weekends, I’d walk and walk and walk and I’d call for him and ask everyone I met if they’d seen him. But nope. I never seen him again.

This went on until I was 12 and one day I overheard my parents arguing. They was always arguing about something. My dad was saying to my mother, “Margaret”, he always called her Margaret. I don’t know why. I guess ‘cause that was her name. Anyway, he was saying, “Margaret, this is ridiculous. He’s been looking for that dog for two years now. Enought is enough. We gotta tell him the damn dog ain’t coming back. You and I both know that old man Johnson poisoned him.” Old man Johnson used to live next to us and he used to complain all the time ‘bout Boner’s barking.

My mom said, “You let him be. He’ll stop looking when he’s good n’ ready. I’m not gonna break that boy’s heart by telling him his dog is dead.”

Well, my heart had already been broken for two years since Boner was gone and now that I knowed that old man Johnson poisoned him. In fact more than my heart was more than broken.

I’m not sure but I think that’s when I lost my innocence, or maybe I should say, it was stolen from me.

So anyway, back to my story. So one day after that I’m walking down the street and I happen to see old man Johnson’s cat. The cat comes right up to me and is purring and rubbing up against my leg. I say, “come here nice kitty” and pick it up.

At first the cat seems happy to see me, it's purring up against me, but then, as if it can read my mind or something it starts to squirm and trying to get away. But I don’t let it. I hold onto it real tight and I’m patting its little head and saying, “nice kitty”, and I don’t know why but suddenly I’m patting its head harder and harder and the cat is ‘meowing’ really loud, and it has really big eyes and it’s trying to claw at me to get away and is scratching at me, but I don't care, I just hold onto it tighter and tighter.

And, well, I’m not proud to say this, but I thought about doing some harm to that cat. I wanted old man Johnson to feel hurt and feel bad inside just like I did about Boner. I held that cat up and pulled its nose right up against my nose and stared deep into its eyes. It looked real scared. Then I thought, “this poor cat ain’t done nothing to me or to Boner. And if I kill it, then Jesus won’t let me into heaven, and I know that’s where Boner is, and then I’ll never see my dog ever again.” So I put the cat down onto the ground and it took off right quick like a lightening flash as if it knew how close it came to dying and was afraid I might change my mind.

OK, so let’s get back to the story about losing things. After losing my dog, the next thing I remember losing is my

voice. I got sick and I lost it. But it came back so I guess I really didn't lose it completely.

After my voice, the next thing I lost was my virginity. But out of respect to Jenny May, I won’t tell you about that. Let’s just say she was a lot older than me and she was big. I mean she was really, really BIG. And well, I can't rightly say I lost my virginity. It was more that she wanted it and took it, but anyway, of all the things I ever lost in my life, that was the most pleasant thing to lose.

I lost my license. But I didn't have it very long anyway so it didn't bother me much to lose it.

I had a job once. And I lost that mighty quick. But that’s not an interesting story and it was a long time ago so I’m not going to tell you about it.

I've heard people say that I've lost my marbles, they whisper about it when they think I can't hear, but it's not true. I still have them, well, most of them anyway. They're in a box under my bed along with my jackknife, and the bones of the mouse I found when I was eight, and my Dick Tracey decoder ring, and the seashells I got from the time I went to the beach and a bunch of other really neat things. So really, I didn't lose my marbles even though everyone thinks I did.

There was some fellows who once tried to explain to me that I'd lost my way and were trying to help me to find Jesus, but I didn't think that Jesus could ever be lost, so I didn't listen to them. I mean, how could Jesus, who is the son of God, ever be lost? I don't think Jesus was lost or that I'd lost my way.

Of course, I have lost my youth. But that's not my fault. And, you don't really lose that. It sort of slips away from you one day at a time until suddenly, before you know it, it's gone.

I lost my glasses but it don't matter 'cause, well, I haven't exactly lost my eyesight and my hearing, but I will say that I am losing them both. But I don't care to look at or listen to much anymore anyway.

I have lost my appetite, but there ain't much I can say about that. I'm just not hungry anymore. I do lose my temper once in awhile when people try to make me eat and I'm not hungry. I just throw the food back at them and tell them to leave me alone.

And, they tell me that I’ve lost my mind but I can’t rightly say for sure that I know ‘bout that since I don’t ever remember having one, or remember losing one. But I guess I believe them since so many people tell me the same thing. But if it is true that I have lost my mind, it’s really not such a bad thing. Sometimes I sit here and watch all the people go by and they’re always rushing and they’re always angry and I can’t understand what they’re rushing to or what they’re angry about. I guess if youve lost your mind, you don’t understand about stuff like rushing and being angry.

So, I just sit here and wait for Jesus to call me to him so I can see Boner again.

What I feel about her

(the break-up song)

You ask “what do I see in her?”

Honey, it’s not about what I see in her

It’s about what I feel about her

It’s when I gaze in her eyes

And a lava-flowing fire burns through my veins for her

It’s when she smiles at me

And nothing in the world matters but her

It’s when I’m in her arms

And I would die a thousand times for her

Honey, It’s not about what she’s got that you haven’t got

It’s about what I feel about her

It’s when we kiss

And I know that I can’t live a day without her

It’s when we make love

And electricity dances through my skin from her

And when she’s gone

And I think of nothing but a burning ache for her

Honey, it’s not about

you and me working it out

It’s about what I feel about her.

And I need to start a life with her

And you know I’ll always care about you

And I don't like to see you hurt

I can't explain it any better than that

But,

It’s about what I feel about her.

(and yes. you can keep the cat.)

Just one more time

Oh, just to hold your hand in mine

One more time

(One more time)

Would be so fine

Oh baby, it would be so fine

Just to gaze into your eyes

One more time

(One more time)

Would be so fine

Oh baby, it would be so fine

And just to call you mine

One more time

(One more time)

Would be so fine

Oh baby, it would be so fine

What I would give

To go back in time

How can I live

Without you in my

Life

Without you in my

Life

Without you

(without you)

Please baby

One more time

(one more time)

Oh honey,

It would be so fine

You know

It would be so fine,

So very,

very fine

(Just one more time.)

Your Pussy Willow

hey baby

what are you up to tonight?

can I come over

'cause I'm sad and lonely

and would love to see

your pussy

willow

hey darlin'

we could have some laughs

we could have a good time

if you'd only invite me over

what fun it will be

you, me and your sweet pussy

willow

it's so soft and beautiful

and it smells so sweet

makes me melt like syrup

down a maple tree

don't deny me please

your lovely pussy

willow

so go ahead

light some candles

and pour some wine

fluff up the pillows

I'll be there soon

to enjoy you and your delightful

pussy

willow